Film24 Promos Online

The nice boys at Film24 have been kind enough to send me some of the promos I’ve been voicing recently. Here’s one now…

You can find more from Film24 on Sky channel 157 and on their website at Film24.com

And you can see more of my promos on my facebook page – just click on the “Video” tab at the top of the page. You can also sign up as a “fan” if you like!

If it’s Tourist Season, does that mean we can shoot them?

Good Friday in Old London Town. Everyone is excited about the prospect of the first Long Weekend of the year (for in the UK, both Friday and Monday are public – or “Bank” – holidays), and the weather, having given us tantalising glimmers of hope in the previous week, is predictably dour and horrible.

Something else happens on Good Friday though, and it seems to happen with just as much predictability as the Easter weather: tourists descend on London in droves of biblical proportions. London’s never without its visitors, of course, and the comparitively weak Pound has swelled their numbers in no small measure of late, but yesterday morning it was clear that the annual Easter influx had arrived. Though workers were scarce, the streets around Charing Cross and Trafalgar square were awash with what seemed like about a million people (most of them Spanish, if the array of weatherproof guide books was anything to go by), and a sizeable chunk of them trying to cram onto the “Heritage” Routemaster bus opposite the station. Being a local, and hence wise to the tricks, I darted around the rear to the equally serviceable (though touristically inferior) Standard Red Bus, that would carry me to the other end of the Strand and to the BBC at Bush House.

I sat myself down, smugly, on the empty bus and waited for it to pull out, but my plan was thwarted, as the overspill from the Routemaster in front piled onto my bus – very slowly. When we eventually got going, there were no seats left on either deck, and it was standing room only for several of the map-clutching Spaniards.

Now, in the Current Economic Climate (yawn, as I remind you once again that I’m not doing the recession) I realise that it can only be a Good Thing that our capital’s streets are thronged with foreigners. But here’s the rub: they don’t half get on my nerves. Yes, I realise that living at the pace of a big city has made me impatient, intolerant and indeed impervious to the needs of my fellow man, but I’m not alone in this. Otherwise the Facebook Group called “I Want To Punch Slow Walking People In The Back Of The Head” wouldn’t have 1,275,319 members at time of writing, now would it?

Maybe it’s just my perverse way of thinking, but as I tutted, muttered expletives and shouted (sotto voce, of course) “Get out of my way!” for the umpteenth time on my way through Covent Garden a little later in the morning, it struck me that perhaps there was a global conspiracy at work. Perhaps all of those foreign guidebooks contain a section called “Instructions for Tourists on the Streets of London”, written in the local tongue. If so, it seems to me that the advice would probably read something like this…

1. The British are sociable and, as a nation, love walking. Show your appreciation of this custom by always walking at least two abreast on pavements (sidewalks). Hold hands if possible, and on narrower pavements four or five people in a row is desirable.
2. London’s street layout can be confusing. Make sure you stop dead the instant you become unsure of your position, then spread your arms and and raise your map to eye height to check. The people walking behind you will understand.
3. On the Underground, the best place to stand while waiting for a train is directly in front of the entrance (doubly so for large groups). Moving down the platform just wastes everyone’s time.
4. Bag thieves and pickpockets are everywhere, so don’t let your luggage out of your sight. On escalators, and especially in Tube stations, place your bag to the right of you and then stand next to it. This occupies the full width of the escalator and ensures that no one can make off with your belongings.
5. Likewise, so as not to encourage pickpockets on the Underground, don’t get your ticket for the barrier out until the very last minute. Feigning surprise at the need to present your ticket as you block the gate is positively encouraged.
6. ..etc

As I dreamed up this list, I began to wonder if it was just me that had these kind of thoughts. Fortunately, asking the question “If it’s Tourist Season, does that mean we can shoot them?” on my Twitter stream, elicited some reassuring responses, among them::

“Yes, we can. Especially the slow walkers…” (@bitful)

“I’m up for a tourist shoot!” (@pyykko)

and

“No its a trap and release policy, I tend to release them around Kensington.” (@mosesjones)

Thank heavens I’m not the only one. And, I might add, both @bitul and @pyykko are both non-Brits who’ve adopted London as their home. Which is, it seems, where non-charity begins – on a holiday weekend, at least.

If you can think of any more advice for travellers then go on and fill my Comments box. You know you want to…

I’ve always relied on the kindness of strangers

It’s always a nice boost when someone says something nice about you, isn’t it?

It’s especially lovely when it comes out of nowhere, without any prompting/arm-twisting/threats of blackmail. And it’s extremely welcome when you’re feeling as down-in-the-dumps and ill as I’ve been all this week.

So imagine my delight when my twitter feed filled up with messages from someone I’d never met and never worked with telling me that I posess:

“a voice that trickles you all over with chocolate sauce”

…that has:

“a tingling timbre”

…and that my voice is:

“fabulously sweet … like smouldering applewood”

She’s obviously not heard me in the last five days (it’s currently more like a crackling bonfire) but I’ll gloss over that.

This, friends, is one of the nice things about twitter. Whereas Facebook lets you stay in touch with your friends, however tenuous and tentative those connections may be, twitter encourages you to reach out and meet new people. Look at who your followers are, see who their friends are, check out who the friends of your friends are, and then follow them too! Of course, for this to happen, you’ll not want to be “Protecting” your updates, so switch that off in twitter’s preferences (what are you here for, if not to share?)

There are even services which help you find people to follow to enable you make those connections (here’s an article about some of them, and Grader, apart from telling you your “twitter grade” also does a good job).

The instantaneous nature of the response to twitter’s question “What are you doing?” begs more frequent updates than Facebook’s status updates, and keeps things moving along at a pace. Plus anyone who’s interested in following trends or finding out more on subjects that interest them is well-served by twitter’s in-built search facility. It’s hidden away at the bottom of the page, but it works very well.

Users can also “tag” their “tweets” with a useful word to make finding them easier for others – this week the tag #uksnow was a prime example for anyone following the story of a Britain caught in the worst snow for years.

I suppose this has really become that first post on social networking that I promised earlier, and I promise to write some more. But I also promise not to become a social networking “expert”, because those posts are already oversubscribed.

Back to the lady in question who prompted me into action. Her name is Anthea Bailey and she’s from somewhere in the North of England. She works in PR (hey, maybe I could use her?!) and her website is being constructed “as we speak”. So in the meantime you’ll just have to “follow” her, here…